At roughly 7.32 pm in a hospital somewhere in southern Italy, Mary lisa Marie Jarisz was born to proud parents Geoff and Suzanne. However it soon became apparent that the comforts of family life had little to offer the increasingly unmanageable Mary Lisa Marie and by the age of three she had left home to seek her fame and fortune in the big city.

The success she had hoped for did not come easy and after a brief and tragic period in a performing circus she was soon living rough in the streets of Venice, stealing what little she could to survive from one day to the next.

However as fortune would have it she was taken in by a wandering pack of rats who nursed her back to full health and treated her as if she had been one of their own.

 Living with the rats was good, Mary learnt of life, the arts and the way of the rat. She was also given her rat name: Ratty, which means little rat in rat tongue. Yet her heart was wild like a crazy river and she dreamt of one day leaving the safety of the rat den and making her fame and fortune as a musician in the big city.

At the age of 18, Mary Lisa Marie Ratty Jarisz said her goodbyes to her adopted rat family and travelled to London where she met Clive (known at the time simply as ‘crazylegs&rsquo passed out in the airport toilets. After Clive cleaned himself up the two discovered that they had a instant chemistry and immediately formed the band that would later be known as ‘Mary and the buttplugs’.

Prior to meeting Mary, Clive had been an inventor, his greatest invention being the once popular Wheetos cereal. But with his inventions becoming fewer and farther apart he descended into a deep madness which was to last for ten years of his life, with two of those years spent behind bars for attempting to blow up the Aero chocolate factory. Clive eventually pulled himself out of his delirium when he discovered his true love: fly fishing. (Clive is an avid fly fisher to this day, and for a period of three years held the record for heaviest catch at the ‘Great Shoreham Fly-fish-a-ganza&rsquo

However finding the right guitarist for the band, then known as ‘Mary and the Crazy-legs of Dr. Crazylegs’ proved harder than they had imagined and after a serious of fruitless auditions they were close to settling on Clive’s idea of having another drummer instead.

 Plagued by self doubt and deep uncertainty, tensions within the band were at an all time low until one Sunday evening down their local ‘The Rat and Kipper’ whilst watching second rate covers bands going though the motions they were both struck by the outstanding skill and ability of one particularly charismatic lead guitarist: Flowing lead lines, tight as **** rhythm playing, an amazing grace around the fretboard. Immediately Clive asked whether he would consider joining the band. He refused so they got Dave instead, an illiterate drunk they found passed out in the pub toilets.

NonewGods were born!

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